Today's Joke: Prove : 2/10=2

Que : Prove : 2/10=2

American student : out of syllabus.
Australian student : The question is wrong.
Chinese student : Its strange! ye kaise aaya hoga ?

Indian stdt : Its so easy..

2/10 =
two/ten
t - t cut
= wo/en
w = 23rd letter
o = 15th letter
e = 5th letter
n = 14th letter
so... 23+15/5+14
= 38/19
= 2



INDIANS COMPLETELY ROCK!

Today's Joke: Renewal of Contract for 2011

After serious and cautious consideration... your contract of friendship has been renewed for the new year 2011. It was a very hard decision to make! So try to be more friendlier and caring next year.

I am giving you another chance so....

Don't mess it up bcoz it's impossible to find a friend who is 96% funky, 97% kind, 98% loving, 99% talented and 100% perfect.

So don't lose me .... OK!

Today's Joke: Funny Statements, English is a Funny Language

Today's Joke: Funny Statements, English is a Funny Language
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In An Office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In A Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In A London Department Store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

Today's Joke: Management and the CRAP Program

Today's Joke: Management and the CRAP Program

Dear Staff,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the worldwide slowdown of economies, since the being of 2008, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 30 plus years of age on early retirement.

Today's Joke: The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Today's Joke: The Ultimate Rejection Letter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Herbert Millington
Chair - Search Committee
Whitson University
College Hill, MA

Dear Professor Millington,

Today's Joke: ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Today's Joke: ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Today's Joke: The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Today's Joke: The Ultimate Rejection Letter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Herbert Millington
Chair - Search Committee
Whitson University
College Hill, MA

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

how to handle baby? funny tutorial

Today's Joke: Because laughter is the best medicine

Today's Joke: Because laughter is the best medicine
~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called "Saints", But now they are called.. "IT professionals"

2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt : "If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"

3) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that, One loves too much, And the other loves too many.

Today's Joke: Difference between Love and Marriage

Today's Joke: Difference between Love and Marriage
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

funny image

Today's Joke: Crazy and untold laws

Today's Joke: Crazy and untold laws
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crazy and untold laws, The LAWS OF REVERSITY

LAW OF QUEUE:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you do not want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIO MECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Today's Joke: Babies delivery and Corporate World

Today's Joke: Babies delivery and Corporate World
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

And lastly...

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby

Reply to a Matrimonial Ad in a Punjabi Newspaper!!

Reply to a Matrimonial Ad in a Punjabi Newspaper!!

Dear Madam:
I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Amritsar. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce alot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking (only a Kingfisher in the evenings) but I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,
Yours and only yours,
Honey Bath,
born by mother in Bhindra di galli and become big, and moneyed in Amritsar, Punjab

Feeling Lucky!

Today's Joke: Feeling Lucky!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A fellow got up one Saturday morning with the odd feeling that something about this day was to be different.

Something unusual was about to happen today. He glanced out the window at the thermometer: 33 degrees. He went downstairs - the clock had stopped at 3 o'clock. He picked up the newspaper and read the date: the 3rd of the month.

Threes - that was it!

He grabbed the paper and flipped it open to the racing section. Sure enough in the 3rd race, there was a horse named Trio! The fellow hurried to the bank, drew out his life savings and bet it all on the horse to win.

When the Race finished the horse finished 3rd.

Today's Joke: The Sign Yard

The Sign Yard

Sign on a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

Sign on a Plumber's  truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.

Sign on another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

Today's Joke: Genie and the 3 wishes

A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray.

"...and what will your third wish be?"

The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"

"You have had two wishes already", the genie said "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes, You now have one wish left."

"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this but what the heck. I've always wanted to understand women. I'd love to know what's going on inside their heads."

"Funny", said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, "That was your first wish, too!"

Teachers Need Break and vacations! Why?

Teachers Need Break and vacations! Why?

GETTING LUCKY WITH WIFE - POINTS SYSTEM

Today's Joke: GETTING LUCKY WITH WIFE - POINTS SYSTEM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(You will appreciate it a lot if you are married)

SIMPLE DUTIES

- You make the bed (+1)
- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
- In the rain (+8)
- But return with Beer (-5)
- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
- It's her pet (-10)

FUNNY DEFINITIONS for today's world

Today's Joke: FUNNY DEFINITIONS for today's world
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through ‘the minds of either’

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.