GETTING LUCKY WITH WIFE - POINTS SYSTEM

Today's Joke: GETTING LUCKY WITH WIFE - POINTS SYSTEM
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(You will appreciate it a lot if you are married)

SIMPLE DUTIES

- You make the bed (+1)
- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
- In the rain (+8)
- But return with Beer (-5)
- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
- It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a
college buddy (-2)
- Named Tina (-4)
- Tina is a dancer (-10)


HER BIRTHDAY

- You take her out to dinner (0)
- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

- You take her to a movie (+2)
- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
- You hesitate in responding (-10)
- You reply, "Where?" (-35)
- Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0)
- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)