Sunday, August 30, 2009

Today's Joke: Best Out of Office Email Replies (auto-responders)

Today's Joke: Best Out of Office Email Replies (auto-responders)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2: I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.

5: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 or the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.’ (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many individuals did this over and over).

7: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 452nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8: Hi,I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by you PC for my response.

9: Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.

10: I’ve run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Loretta’ instead of ‘Steve’

Today's Joke: The School Answering Machine

Today's Joke: The School Answering Machine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is an answering machine message for a school.

The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2

To complain about what we do – Press 3

To swear at staff members – Press 4

To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5

If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year – Press 8

To complain about bus transportation – Press 9

To complain about school lunches – Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Indian Political parties and their symbols

Today's Joke: Indian Political parties and their symbols
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Why is the Samajwadi Party's symbol 'Cycle'?
A: Because after a ban on English and use of computers, that's all we'll be able to afford.

Q: Why is the Congress party's symbol 'Hand'?
A: To remind Indians that our fate is forever in the hand of one family!

Q: Why is BJP Symbol 'Lotus'?
A: Lotus is the symbol of Sarawasti and learning. BJP will educate us through the wisdom of Varun Gandhi and Pravin Togadia.

Q: Why is Mayawati's symbol 'Elephant'?
A: It's a self portrait.

Q: Why is Jayalalitha's symbol 'Two leaves'?
A: Because that's what remained after Amma ate up all the fruit.

Q: Why is DMK's symbol 'Sun'?
A: So that Karunanidhi can justify wearing shades indoors.

Q: Why is Lalu's symbol 'Lantern'?
A: Because there's no electricity in Bihar.

Q: Why is CPM's symbol 'Hammer and Sickle'?
A: Because that's what you will be using if they come to power.

Q: Why is Sharad Pawar's symbol 'Clock'?
A: Because his time never seems to comes.

Q: Why is Shiv Sena's symbol 'Bow and Arrow'?
A: I can tell you, but then I'll have to shoot you!

Latest videos AUG 19

Latest videos AUG 19
----------------------

1. Knorr: Salty
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12418

2. Bud Light: Sister
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12417

3. Interflora: Careful
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12416

4. Got Milk?: Opener
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12415

5. Pro-Line: Mascot
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12414

6. Heineken: Bottle
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12413

7. Williams: Lions
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12412

8. Stella Artois: Choir
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12411

9. Apple Mac: PR
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12410

10. InterSport: Weight
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12409

11. AllState: Skating
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12408

12. Science World: Kiss
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12407

13. Reality TV: Real
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12406

14. McCoy's Special: Laundry
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12405

15. Minnesota Lottery: Bear
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12404

16. Vivident: Postman
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12403

17. Cincinnati Bell: Dial-Up Man
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12402

18. BIC: Beard
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12401

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Madurai District News, Tamil Nadu : மாவட்ட செய்திகள் : : தினமலர்

Madurai District News, Tamil Nadu : மாவட்ட செய்திகள் : : தினமலர்

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Latest videos aug.18

Latest videos aug.18
----------------------

1. Mercedes Benz: Eco
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12400

2. Emerald Nuts: Guard
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12399

3. Foster's: GPS Navigation
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12398

4. YellowBook: New Job
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12397

5. AirTran Airways : Meetings
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12396

6. Charter Business: Unsocial
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12395

7. Bud Light: Flamingos
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12394

8. DirecTV: Coach
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12393

9. Doritos: Kiss
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12392

10. EA Sports: Training
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12391

11. Natural Beer: Marking Territory
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12390

12. NetCom: Dog
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12389

13. Silversands: Bluff
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12388

14. Dodge Durango: Big
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12387

15. Renault Symbol: Man
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12386

16. Fiat: Own Car
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12385

17. Clearasil: Confidence
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12384

18. Miller Lite: European Friend
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12383

19. Sprite: Fashion Show
URL: http://www.funnyplace.org/stream.php?id=12382

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Madurai Time zone

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